Don't let Fifa Americanise future World Cups

During yesterday's World Cup half-time show, as a 67-year-old Madonna appeared on the MetLife Stadium jumbotrons in a mini-skirt, riding atop a neon-purple vehicle driven by Brazilian footballing legends Ronaldinho and Ronaldo "El Fenómeno", it was hard not to think: "This is fun. Why not?" However, that would be the take of the clod who eats his Soylent Green and thanks his captors for only poisoning him a "little bit".