The Imaginary Undecided Voter News Junkies

If you’re reading this, you’re probably not an undecided voter. 

I don’t mean you specifically, of course. You’re a very special person with complicated, nuanced political opinions. You’re not like all the rest. You contain multitudes. I’m talking about all those other readers, most of whom probably long ago made up their minds on how to vote this fall.

They knew whether they would vote Republican or Democratic or lodge a protest vote with a write-in or a minor party candidate, maybe as far back as February when the party primaries effectively came to an end. Some of them decided well before then.