Money Well Spent: 'Moron' Thomas Massie Joins Marjorie Taylor Greene on Ash Heap of History

President Donald Trump, his allies, and the United States of America prevailed on Tuesday as Rep. Thomas Massie (R., Ky.) lost his primary race to Trump-backed challenger Ed Gallrein, a retired Navy SEAL and fifth-generation dairy farmer. The Associated Press called the race for Gallrein roughly an hour after polls closed, with Massie poised to lose by double digits.

"I'm going to win," Massie told CBS News on Monday. Instead, he'll join disgraced former Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R., Ga.), Jamaal Bowman (D., N.Y.), and Cori Bush (D., Mo.) as the latest fringe agitator and antisemite to endure an involuntary early retirement. As gracious as ever in defeat, Massie apologized to supporters for letting them down. Just kidding, he blamed the Jews. "I would've come out sooner," he said, "but I had to call my opponent and concede, and it took a while to find Ed Gallrein in Tel Aviv."