After losing their moms to COVID-19, some would rather Mother's Day not 'exist at all'

They all cry, naked in their grief.

One woman can't speak without weeping. Another said she didn't expect to get emotional, but when she begins to talk about her mother she asks for a moment to right herself under the unsteadying weight of loss. Another remembers the last time she saw her mom, separated by glass, anguish braiding the breath that catches in her throat.

For people who lost their mothers to COVID-19, this Mother's Day is a reminder of a freshly gaping void. Some won't celebrate the day at all. Others will mark it quietly.

"Before this year, I always joked with my children and said Mother's Day was the most important day of the year," said Ashlyn Fox, whose mother and grandmother died of COVID-19 six days apart. "This year, I don't want it to exist at all. I want to pretend it doesn't exist."