'No Kings' Has No Future

Greetings and welcome to this 82nd performance of the Carnival of Fools! It's a ragged crew of entertainers on call for this week, as we all ponder from the safety of our couches whether Donald Trump's experimental war on Iran will actually result in regime change or whether we'll be shipping out soon to stage USO performances of the Carnival for our brave soldiers and sailors about to occupy Kharg Island. Normally I might be concerned about putting boots on the ground, but a job is a job: I'm working on convincing Nancy Mace and Jasmine Crockett to join up for our tour as their own morale-boosting side act — I envision a combination of CNN's old Crossfire and the WWE's Monday Night Raw — and I actually think the Carnival will travel pretty well.