I Can’t Stop Thinking About Four Seasons Total Landscaping

Saturday delivered a series of very pleasing surprises: The networks put an end to the agonizingly slow 2020 election, calling the race for President-elect Joe Biden. That announcement kicked off hours of exuberant outdoor partying — widespread screaming, impromptu street dancing, and a cacophony of cowbells — in cities around the country. And somewhere in the midst of all that celebrating, the Trump campaign handed us a dark-horse contender for the day’s most captivating development yet: A press conference convened outside Four Seasons Total Landscaping, a random Philadelphia business that...