Protesters Clarify They're Only OK With Secret Police In Communist Countries

Peaceful protesters issued a clarification to the news media that their condemnation of federal secret police only applies to capitalist countries.

“We need to unshackle ourselves from oppressive forms of coercive power structures like the racist and fascist police departments,” declared a spokesperson for the protesters, Whisper White. “This is why we are out here night after night, through all the smoke and the heat from the fires and the loud explosions. We are fighting this fight for all of you too. We can’t allow these unidentifiable police in unmarked...